I wish
I wish I'd meant something to you; But each day that passes Shows me That I didn't. Not even the electric friction That our skins conjured Under the open sky And the yellow light. Not even the clandestine stairwell That reeked of lust Of you, of me Of us. Oh, delight! Did nothing mean anything? At all? Ever? I wish I'd had the courage to speak; Speak up, speak out, Or maybe, Just ask. Why those half kohled eyes Captured your attention Amidst an ocean Of tactile allure? Why the restrictions faded When the night sky fell And the prying eye shut And all seemed obscure? Would you have answered? At all? Ever? I wish I knew how to rid myself Of this hold you have Over me Even now. Of the miles between us, Of the charm that penetrates them And this unfinished business, Unuttered. Of the trust that we tested And the grips of the monster Still clutching each nerve Unfluttered. Can we let go? At all? Ever?