A Kindling Soul

I remember not how we ended up in that spot Nor how there were such scintillations in the darkness opaque I remember turning and finding your eyes, Then turning away, such revelations at stake. I remember your finger under my chin I remember my eyes peering into yours The careful brush against my lips The twinkle in your eyes before mine closed. I remember the tightening grip As your arm moved on my waist I remember the tingles, and all the chills I remember putting my hand on your face. I remember not how my hands reached your hair Nor how your hands were on my back,bare, I remember though, the smile on your lips, I remember the intimacy we shared. I remember my heart beating I remember hearing yours too Not a single beat together Not a single beat out of tune. I remember a beautiful dream, I remember the halcyon and peace I remember your knowing smile. I remember not you being such a tease. You left in the morning. And I did too. I remember the last look you...

Life was a puzzle, I declared solved. You made my heart the missing piece. Oh, you beautiful thief. You stand at the finish line Having made my heart rush and race. For it to stop you wait.  Without exchanging a word, Our eyes talk. In a crowd of people long forgotten or never talked of. In a game of chase, we remain stuck Forever in a loop, Who chases who? We reach out for each other In a room clandestine. Both hiding, both fighting. We are so good at faking indifference, There is no point in keeping score I can't bear to, anyway,any more. Invested in hide and seek,forever. We both could hide, and neither would look, One is the sea, the other a brook. Each plays the pawn, while each is the king. Each makes moves the other anticipates, Neither can lose, neither elates. These games our hearts play, Leave my brain bewildered. And,now, it has surrendered.

How can this be friendship? How can this be love? How can this be anything Not written in Heavens above? How can there be such anger Doused with that much lust? How can there be magnanimous desire In a land of adulterated rust? How can someone contain In their eyes the fires of hell, And have the placid serendipity Of Shangri-La as well? How is it that someone Can bring in so much color, In a life made grey by everything They represent,they do,they savour? How can the infallible so easily fall, When dependable is all they'd ever been? How can there be such exuberance In things that aren't supposed to have been? How can your presence burn me up And make me pine for more? How can water both quench your thirst, And leave you as parched as before? How can I wish to hold your hand, When my heart will never be yours? When I know you need me right by your side, How can I not plunge into these wars? How could I think that fanning a spark, Won't ...

I count the steps you take, When you walk away, And take my heart with. I think you do, at least, Cause the void that's in my chest. Couldn't really be anything else. The absence of you, of your smell, Leaves me mad, leaves me depressed. Oh, come back to me. I'd rather take your indifference, Than the heartbreak of your absence. Please, do not leave. My soul is scarred, your truancy burns. At every footstep, my head turns. Desperation, is this not? Come back, come back soon. Don't walk away, don't lengthen this June. It kills me when you are gone.

I catch my eyes drifting, To you, and your beautiful face. He's sitting right beside you, And I can't help but stare. I'd stand up now, and kiss you. Right now, right here. I'd leave all, and run with you, If you'd only care. I watch you watch me all day, From the corner of my eye. I can't just let you do that, He's sitting right by my side! I long to let you hold me, To lie in your embrace, tight I hold my breath and wait For the blanket of the night. He plays with your hair, Caresses your face Gets to drown in your eyes, And hold you by the waist. Everytime he touches you, It rips to shreds my bliss. I feel my heart crash and burn. Why are you only his? He is a beautiful soul, Like me, so much like me. You are so very different, Then how come you make me free? You say all you've learnt of love, You have from seeing us. You say you know now what a heartbeat is. But all I know-is being his.

The shooting stars above our heads, Sparks flying through the air,  Between us. Tearing my patience to shreds, Your silent looks, that volatile stare. Oh, how my strengths you test. The tick of the clocks, The light bugs, And your glowing skin. The racing pulses, eyes talk. Passion unplugged. And the beautiful sky we soar in. As you push back from my face,  Strands of hair come loose. I hold my breath. The air satiates with your taste. Our hearts rush, neither calling a truce, Is this sweet death? Your fingertips trace my hand, My face, my back. My soul. Everything wanted and unplanned, Rising from smoke, pitch black, Take shapes beyond my control. The breeze leaves me shivering, cold; Or is that you? It is, isn't it? Your touch tingles, lures,bites, and scores. And without much ado,  My heart, and soul you aggravate. Myself, I try to free,from pain, From you, from your embrace. I avoid those cold,...

The light, it burns my soul. The silence, it deafens me. Closed eyes, closed minds. I don't want to know. I don't want to feel. Waking up feels like demise. Reliving those nights, by closing my eyes. Your eyes tracing my back,  As I walked away. The footsteps, still echo,  I can't remember What did you always say? What did you always sing? I hum your tunes, like I used to then. Sometimes, I just dance to no song. I see you walk, down the street. I see you look at me and leave. Hasn't it already been too long? Won't you look at me, won't you ever? Won't you talk, or smile? Don't look at me and make me unseen. Silences drown me in wisps of smoke. If there is nothing good left to say, Just. Lie to me.

The sky is dark, the clouds roll in, Languid-each step, every breath. Lost in my thoughts, I walk in again, And in my path, stop dead. Back in those paths, once again. Back where it all did begin. Memories flash right before my eyes, Remembering, missing,sinking in. The passing wind reminds me Your breath on my neck, whispering. Those words unknown to others, Your voice in my head, ever lingering. The first time that you touched me, Every wall, every fear broke down. The fire that ran through me, Once again, in that inferno,my heart drowns. Every smile, every twinkle of your eyes. Every frown, every wrinkled nose. I remember,I keep remembering. Every moment we spent far and close. The way your kisses left me shaking, Overcome with emotions, numb. Every touch, every burning touch. Every word, to which I'd succumb. I remember you, and all the lines on your hand. I remember it all, I remember it all the time. I remember every laugh we laughed, every...

Fingers entwined, they walk the roads, Their roads, their paths, their secret windows.  Nothing trembles, there are no chills; A pleasant, warm sun shines through. In a town, where rains are rare, A calm sun shines all through the day. No winds that blow away the dust, That settles in the yellowing dog-eared books. They sit together, and eat, and talk, They walk together, like hands of a clock. Nothing to keep them apart, not them. Just time, each day, perhaps. He watches her go, he watches her work, He watches her smile, an infrequent perk. She leaves on his arm, full glory of the Sun, Steals glances at the sky, won't no cloud come? Another day, a bright sun, and no rain. An empty dance floor, she sighs once again. Lonely, she knows, he won't make it. And finds his arm, outstretched, waiting. "One dance?" he  asks, and smiles and waits, "One dance", she thinks, and hesitates. Brown eyes, so warm, and yet so cold. She takes ...

Slowly, so slowly, the mist parts. A ray, just one, of sunshine comes through. The sight clears, the sight once so fogged; There is me, just me, and my demons in view. Demons, of my past, and of my present, And probably of my future too. Every dark corner shows me another one. Every lonesome corner, every solitary move. And then at a corner, I turn and find, Another soul, another one, a like mind. The dew drops, like crystals shine brightly so, This road is new, have I left all behind? Suddenly my demons aren't the only ones By my side, to take my hand, Oh, epiphany. Suddenly, I have so much, so,so much more- That my demons vanish- into the darkness that is me. The serenity, the peace that I have found In these souls so similar to mine, So much to discuss, so much to converse, So much to discover, so much to find. Smiling is frequent, my days are now abuzzed. My heart is lighter, a hope slowly usurps. My demons, they are calmer, the noises h...

The wounds are fresh, the tears still run. My heart still burns away as the Sun. Alone, in the dark, with fire inside me. Away far away, with no one beside me. I thought I'd gotten used to the hurt and the pain. Impunity I'd thought,now I'd managed to gain. But every cut burnt just as much. Just as every slap, and every tender touch. I gave up, I gave in, cowardice-I know. I've had it, I cave in, can't take another low blow. I did what I had to, I stood up for me. I knew I just had to, for myself, and me. With all of the heart ache, and strains and the sores, I managed to find some shoulders to set shore, I thought to myself, "Hey, this does seem nice" And Life saw to it, that all them turned into lies. One by one every rampart and support,  Got up and left, or just watched me go. I told my heart, once more, be strong, just hold on. My heart but, it has let go, and I must move on. Move on to a shore, move ...

The chatter in the corridors, The emptiness on this side of my door. The whole world is spinning, And I just stand still. I watch as everyone rushes, With things to say everyone gushes. I stare and stare, feeling trivial,like a fool I lie alone, away, like a forgotten tool. Purposes, desires, everything my life lacks. Horrors of loneliness,of all I have left back. I am just the ghost of who I used to be. Only the traces remain of the real, true me. Nothing to live for, no one to look for me anymore. I can't go on, not like this, for sure. I need to feel needed, I need for someone to save me. I am broken, broken hearted, I need for someone to fix me. I need a purpose in life, and one I can't seem to find. I need to fill my empty time, I am slowly losing my mind. I want to go home, I need to find a way back to me. Cause if noone else will, I will fix me.

The complications that arise, Of heart, of soul, of love and life. The sad truths of being alone. The hurts and aches, the future unknown. Fickle, unsettling, the heart and its yearning, Solitude and serenity, loneliness and lesser learnings. The comfort of being with oneself,  And the agony of having no-one else. At these cross roads, at these forks, At this stage, at this phase with no quirks. I look for a helping hand, a shoulder to shed my tears on. And I watch as onto the ground, the stream of tears drops on. How these knots arose, I have no clue. But suddenly I question everything that I believed was true. And lost in these knots and ties, I forgot the real world. I forget who I was, I no longer remember my own words. There is a heaviness in my heart, I feel nothing but pain. And hurt, the never-ending ache my heart feels on each beat and again. Life is changing, and I don't care why. What is unclear is how will I?