Fix me

The chatter in the corridors,
The emptiness on this side of my door.
The whole world is spinning,
And I just stand still.

I watch as everyone rushes,
With things to say everyone gushes.
I stare and stare, feeling trivial,like a fool
I lie alone, away, like a forgotten tool.

Purposes, desires, everything my life lacks.
Horrors of loneliness,of all I have left back.
I am just the ghost of who I used to be.
Only the traces remain of the real, true me.

Nothing to live for, no one to look for me anymore.
I can't go on, not like this, for sure.
I need to feel needed, I need for someone to save me.
I am broken, broken hearted, I need for someone to fix me.

I need a purpose in life, and one I can't seem to find.
I need to fill my empty time, I am slowly losing my mind.
I want to go home, I need to find a way back to me.
Cause if noone else will, I will fix me.

Complications

The complications that arise,

Of heart, of soul, of love and life.

The sad truths of being alone.

The hurts and aches, the future unknown.

Fickle, unsettling, the heart and its yearning,

Solitude and serenity, loneliness and lesser learnings.

The comfort of being with oneself, 

And the agony of having no-one else.

At these cross roads, at these forks,
At this stage, at this phase with no quirks.
I look for a helping hand, a shoulder to shed my tears on.
And I watch as onto the ground, the stream of tears drops on.

How these knots arose, I have no clue.
But suddenly I question everything that I believed was true.
And lost in these knots and ties, I forgot the real world.
I forget who I was, I no longer remember my own words.

There is a heaviness in my heart, I feel nothing but pain.
And hurt, the never-ending ache my heart feels on each beat and again.
Life is changing, and I don't care why.
What is unclear is how will I?

Concerns.

What concerns me the most,
My heart, and its ghosts.
Ghosts of all the years past.
Ghosts of my mistakes vast.

Priorities suddenly go hay-wire.
Small things, huge shapes they acquire.
Small gestures, and small talks.
Incomplete conversations, memories just stalk.

Concerned I am, about myself, and me.
They seem different, is that even a possibility?
I am improbable, I am usually unstirred.
And still somehow, an anxiousness usurps.

Long nights, alone, aphotic.
Moments of blues quickly leave.
Now, just concerns hover, and that is all.
Just concerns, and an empty white wall.

I have no idea why, my mind plays such tricks,
It teases, it remembers, it's sly and it's slick.
The smallest of them actions, the biggest of them lies.
Every single one of them, to fool me it employs.

But my heart is strong, or so I feel.
There is something that to it does appeal,
And that is, the comfort of the moment.
And for awhile, serenity settles in.

Illusions.

It all comes shattering down,
In one swift motion,dead.
Run of the mill,the talk of the town,
Or the only thing in my head.

Chimeras, fallacies, all over due,
But then again, that is all they were.
Dreams, unseen, never to be true,
Pieces of my heart disappear.

Clouds of confusion, up in smokes,
The hurtful truth, up in my face.
As the facts themselves to me spoke,
I stared at my reflection, sad, and disgraced.

Was there any truth in that beautiful satisfaction?
Or was it all a colossal illusion?
Was it all a figment of my imagination?
Was it all just a part of my own delusions?
  
The splinters of my dreams puncture my feet,
Nose up in the air,as I step on them and leave.
The matters of my heart, ever so discreet.
And the mess I made,because of the lies I believed.

What is worse than being broke,
Is being broken hearted.
I laugh it off, this cruel, mean joke.
Over the screams of my mind and heart being parted.

Why should my mind be blamed,
For all of my heart's mistakes?
No, it would be a matter of shame,
I'd rather spare myself of atleast that one ache.

Lost.

Lost. And alone. In this forest of concrete.
Sad. And sadder,as I drag along my feet.
Melancholy. Nostalgia. Wash over me again.
Tears. Tearful smiles. Nothing left but pain.

Obsessive. Compulsive. My world is now on fire.
Insecure. Discontent. My life is without desires.
Everyone. Everything. Turns against me now.
Maybe not. Ah my heart. In pain yet it does bow.

Fuzzy. Unclear. My view of the world.
Doubts?Or just tears? Let nothing unfurl.
Full stops.Question marks.The only things I see.
Commas.Exclamations.They all but dodge me.

Where I am. Who too. Its all just lost,unclear.
My heart. Still not with me. But it is engulfed in fear.
Mistakes. Always.There to ruin the day.
Lost. That's all I am. Won't someone show me the way? 
 
A light.Just shine it. Or just give me a push.
Right path. Right direction. Anything right as such.
Friendship. Love. A little care, some compassion.
Something. Anything, really. Just in a sweet fashion.

Discovery.Of self. I search for who I am.
 Lost. And all alone. I ache for a loving palm.
Stretching. I reach out. With hopes and all my faith.
Life.And love. I am ready to catch your bait!

Borrowed Life

This birth, this soul, this body, this breath,
This face, this love, this mind, this death.
These tears, these laughs, these hopes, these strifes,
All a part of this borrowed life.

None of it is ours, and yet it all is,
All the sorrow, the pain and the bliss.
While nothing is known, it's all in plain sight,
Adding worth to this meaningless borrowed life.

Something that soon won't be tagged "mine",
Something we will lose in the blink of an eye,
Something that was with emotions rife,
Something to ponder over-this borrowed life.

We can't just let it be, we never really know;
When it'll slip out of hands, to someone else it'll go!
Something has to be done, or heavy will be the price,
Cause we have to make something out of this borrowed life.

Buck up, buckle in, there is no time to waste,
But make sure nothing is lost in the haste,
Your joys, your love, your family, your life,
It's all still yours, even in this borrowed life!

Tears

As another diamond rolled down her cheek,
She coughed, as she tried to speak;
Speak about what hurt her so much,
Speak about the truth, as such.

She wondered why, she wondered how,
She'd end up this way, with tears and a frown;
She was sad, but this wasn't supposed to be!
This way of life, she never did foresee.

She cried, and cried, to sleep, again.
She cried and cried, tears all in vain.
For what she cried, only she knew,
Maybe she didn't, she thought nothing through.

Her life seemed to have reached an impasse,
She searched crazily for a greener grass.
Somewhere, somehow, to reduce that pain,
Someone, somewhere, to show they cared.

Cause she was trying, and trying with all her might,
That soon she'd spot some joy in her sight.
Cause life had never been so sad, so unclear.
Cause life, was never supposed to end up in tears.