A Kindling Soul

The light, it burns my soul. The silence, it deafens me. Closed eyes, closed minds. I don't want to know. I don't want to feel. Waking up feels like demise. Reliving those nights, by closing my eyes. Your eyes tracing my back,  As I walked away. The footsteps, still echo,  I can't remember What did you always say? What did you always sing? I hum your tunes, like I used to then. Sometimes, I just dance to no song. I see you walk, down the street. I see you look at me and leave. Hasn't it already been too long? Won't you look at me, won't you ever? Won't you talk, or smile? Don't look at me and make me unseen. Silences drown me in wisps of smoke. If there is nothing good left to say, Just. Lie to me.

The sky is dark, the clouds roll in, Languid-each step, every breath. Lost in my thoughts, I walk in again, And in my path, stop dead. Back in those paths, once again. Back where it all did begin. Memories flash right before my eyes, Remembering, missing,sinking in. The passing wind reminds me Your breath on my neck, whispering. Those words unknown to others, Your voice in my head, ever lingering. The first time that you touched me, Every wall, every fear broke down. The fire that ran through me, Once again, in that inferno,my heart drowns. Every smile, every twinkle of your eyes. Every frown, every wrinkled nose. I remember,I keep remembering. Every moment we spent far and close. The way your kisses left me shaking, Overcome with emotions, numb. Every touch, every burning touch. Every word, to which I'd succumb. I remember you, and all the lines on your hand. I remember it all, I remember it all the time. I remember every laugh we laughed, every...

Fingers entwined, they walk the roads, Their roads, their paths, their secret windows.  Nothing trembles, there are no chills; A pleasant, warm sun shines through. In a town, where rains are rare, A calm sun shines all through the day. No winds that blow away the dust, That settles in the yellowing dog-eared books. They sit together, and eat, and talk, They walk together, like hands of a clock. Nothing to keep them apart, not them. Just time, each day, perhaps. He watches her go, he watches her work, He watches her smile, an infrequent perk. She leaves on his arm, full glory of the Sun, Steals glances at the sky, won't no cloud come? Another day, a bright sun, and no rain. An empty dance floor, she sighs once again. Lonely, she knows, he won't make it. And finds his arm, outstretched, waiting. "One dance?" he  asks, and smiles and waits, "One dance", she thinks, and hesitates. Brown eyes, so warm, and yet so cold. She takes ...

Slowly, so slowly, the mist parts. A ray, just one, of sunshine comes through. The sight clears, the sight once so fogged; There is me, just me, and my demons in view. Demons, of my past, and of my present, And probably of my future too. Every dark corner shows me another one. Every lonesome corner, every solitary move. And then at a corner, I turn and find, Another soul, another one, a like mind. The dew drops, like crystals shine brightly so, This road is new, have I left all behind? Suddenly my demons aren't the only ones By my side, to take my hand, Oh, epiphany. Suddenly, I have so much, so,so much more- That my demons vanish- into the darkness that is me. The serenity, the peace that I have found In these souls so similar to mine, So much to discuss, so much to converse, So much to discover, so much to find. Smiling is frequent, my days are now abuzzed. My heart is lighter, a hope slowly usurps. My demons, they are calmer, the noises h...

The wounds are fresh, the tears still run. My heart still burns away as the Sun. Alone, in the dark, with fire inside me. Away far away, with no one beside me. I thought I'd gotten used to the hurt and the pain. Impunity I'd thought,now I'd managed to gain. But every cut burnt just as much. Just as every slap, and every tender touch. I gave up, I gave in, cowardice-I know. I've had it, I cave in, can't take another low blow. I did what I had to, I stood up for me. I knew I just had to, for myself, and me. With all of the heart ache, and strains and the sores, I managed to find some shoulders to set shore, I thought to myself, "Hey, this does seem nice" And Life saw to it, that all them turned into lies. One by one every rampart and support,  Got up and left, or just watched me go. I told my heart, once more, be strong, just hold on. My heart but, it has let go, and I must move on. Move on to a shore, move ...

The chatter in the corridors, The emptiness on this side of my door. The whole world is spinning, And I just stand still. I watch as everyone rushes, With things to say everyone gushes. I stare and stare, feeling trivial,like a fool I lie alone, away, like a forgotten tool. Purposes, desires, everything my life lacks. Horrors of loneliness,of all I have left back. I am just the ghost of who I used to be. Only the traces remain of the real, true me. Nothing to live for, no one to look for me anymore. I can't go on, not like this, for sure. I need to feel needed, I need for someone to save me. I am broken, broken hearted, I need for someone to fix me. I need a purpose in life, and one I can't seem to find. I need to fill my empty time, I am slowly losing my mind. I want to go home, I need to find a way back to me. Cause if noone else will, I will fix me.

The complications that arise, Of heart, of soul, of love and life. The sad truths of being alone. The hurts and aches, the future unknown. Fickle, unsettling, the heart and its yearning, Solitude and serenity, loneliness and lesser learnings. The comfort of being with oneself,  And the agony of having no-one else. At these cross roads, at these forks, At this stage, at this phase with no quirks. I look for a helping hand, a shoulder to shed my tears on. And I watch as onto the ground, the stream of tears drops on. How these knots arose, I have no clue. But suddenly I question everything that I believed was true. And lost in these knots and ties, I forgot the real world. I forget who I was, I no longer remember my own words. There is a heaviness in my heart, I feel nothing but pain. And hurt, the never-ending ache my heart feels on each beat and again. Life is changing, and I don't care why. What is unclear is how will I?