I wish I'd meant something to you;
But each day that passes
Shows me
That I didn't.
Not even the electric friction
That our skins conjured
Under the open sky
And the yellow light.
Not even the clandestine stairwell
That reeked of lust
Of you, of me
Of us. Oh, delight!
Did nothing mean anything?
At all?
Ever?
I wish I'd had the courage to speak;
Speak up, speak out,
Or maybe,
Just ask.
Why those half kohled eyes
Captured your attention
Amidst an ocean
Of tactile allure?
Why the restrictions faded
When the night sky fell
And the prying eye shut
And all seemed obscure?
Would you have answered?
At all?
Ever?
I wish I knew how to rid myself
Of this hold you have
Over me
Even now.
Of the miles between us,
Of the charm that penetrates them
And this unfinished business,
Unuttered.
Of the trust that we tested
And the grips of the monster
Still clutching each nerve
Unfluttered.
Can we let go?
At all?
Ever?
